Checking out


Disclaimer: Still alive… yay!? (see I remembered this time!)

So you think that you can fight it, well that’s a crying shame
That’s what it wants you to think, it’s the name of the game
You bring the sword and I’ll grab a pen
Words are deadly, so let’s not disappoint again

You don’t stand a chance given the circumstance
It’s a shame to feel so lame over something that controls your brain
But that’s how it beats you, it eats you until you’re insane in the only domain that you have to remain
Life hits fast and knocks you like a blast, down on the ground for the count because you couldn’t stick the dismount

Now watch as I take this pen to my pad and write about the life I never had
I’m sinking fast so abandon ship before the end of this trip
This life is just a blip and a blur trying to defend against an invisible attacker
It’s a duel to the death but I won’t hold my breath
You might be waiting awhile so don’t touch that dial as I run from myself mile after mile

Sure , pull the trigger it’s the easy way to go
I’m told I should be a little more creative though
Pills are great and then it’s a date with the me that I never knew I could be
Cutting’s like foreplay or so they say. nothing like a little nip, so come on baby, just the tip
I enjoy the appeal of the feel of the knife to the skin exercise the demons that lay within

Life is too short not to have your fun just make sure to tip your bully when you’re all done
You’re on the fast track to the end no need to pretend like it’s something you can’t comprehend
You only live once so let’s suspend belief, breath a sigh of relief, because I’m the chief
And it’s  do or die, no that’s a lie more like die and die sorry to make you cry but this is goodbye
I’m beaten, my brain half eaten by a cannibal like an animal starving with a knife in hand just carving
My mind withering away day by day while the demons lay pray just to watch me decay

So this is the end, time to leave this place, need to finish first like this is a race
Farewell to all and no will left to fight, don’t say goodbye time to say goodnight
Time to take some pills and calm my nerve, time to hope for the life that I really deserve
Now without further ado without a doubt say bye bye because I’m checking out.

11 responses to “Checking out

  1. i sincerely hope this is just venting to get those toxic feelings out; it’s amazing poetry but the depth of despair is almost overwhelming. here’s to hoping someone’s nearby to give you a hug/help you feel better/help ease the pain productively. you have incredible talent and lots of value! please don’t forget that.

    • Oh yeah totally, I even put the allusive disclaimer at the top this time that I forgot to put up. Life is great though I’m very happy, this was something I was working on when I was not so happy however, about a week ago. Yeah I go through emotions pretty quick lol.

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