As a man, and I am sure other guys out there will jump right in with me, but there is something on my mind all the time. Guys , you know you are thinking about it too and ladies I’m here to tell you, it is true we think about it all the time, constantly, heck one study suggested we thought about it something like every 7 seconds. If that is the case then I must be in overdrive thinking about it. I think you know what I am getting at by now, of course you do!
Ovaries are on my mind. Specifically when I look down at my male parts and think, man if I were a chick, I would totally rock a set of ovaries.
Why ovaries, you might ask.
Well the simple answer is abortion. Now I am going to go wash my eyeballs and disinfect the keyboard for even typing the word…
Okay I am back.
Abortion, just the word disgusts me, now as a man I KNOW it is my duty to make sure that women, for any reason, cannot have one performed. Because if God wanted you to have an abortion he wouldn’t have made you pregnant in the first place.
Now ladies, I know it is hard to keep your legs closed and you feel that you MUST seduce a man to feel like you are a valuable member of society; it’s true, you are right and that is okay. However, what is not okay is trying to weasel your way out of the consequences of those actions.
Now you may be saying, well it is my body, my choice. Well as a man I need to inform you that your choice is limited to the type of sandwich you’ll be making me in the kitchen (no mayo don’t forget darling). So I don’t see any valid point to your argument.
Nevertheless, you continue your arguments, I cannot take care of myself much less a baby; quality of life needs to count for something you would argue. Oh my poor, innocent, sweet, little child, life is important no matter how bad it is. IF quality of life was the important factor, do you really think men would even let women speak? No, of course not because quality of life decreases every time a woman opens her mouth and sound comes out. Let us be realistic here, we need every child to be born, it is what God would want.
Oh but I was raped, you say. Well good for you, now you have someone to keep you company at night to remind you that even the darkest nights have a silver lining. I know you are thinking, but it will be a constant reminder of your rape. But you need to know, it won’t be my dear, because the birth won’t happen for another 9 months so you have plenty of time to forget it even happened.
So sure, we could leave decisions’ about women’s bodies to women. But as an educated man I know that if God wanted women to be able to make decisions about their bodies, they would have been born with the penis. After all, women can’t make even the simplest decisions, if girls didn’t have a father and women have a husband to tell them what to do, well women would starve or worse, death! Just think what would happen if one of them thought they could be equals and started… thinking…
Scary I know, it’s okay guys I know that it won’t happen, it’s medically impossible for women to have rational thoughts. To the ladies out there reading this from their computer that their husband so generously put in the kitchen for them, don’t worry your pretty little heads off, let the men make the choices for you, you’ll be happier that way.
Now I leave you all with a very informative BBC presentation on exactly why women shouldn’t be allowed to make choices for themselves, you know, for any women who might be confused with all the big words and lack of cute kitten photos.