Abuse and gender roles


Where to start really?

The topic of gender and conforming is huge. I don’t even know what to say that hasn’t been said a million times before me.

What do you tell a person who is different?
You tell them to fit in.


Because most people are afraid of different, they are afraid of unique they are afraid that they are not better than you are.

Gay rights is sort of a passion of mine, everyone should be loved and if someone is different, what is wrong with that?


So when a parent can come out to their child and say, you can’t be that way. When a family can say we don’t love you unless you are X or Y or Z. It’s wrong!

‘We only love you if you fit our mold.’ They say
‘And you want us to love you, right?’


Love for a family member should be unconditional, love for a partner should be unconditional. If I were a parent, I would be accepting of my child and whatever they wanted to be as long as they weren’t hurting anyone in the process.

No, not the metaphorical hurting that gets force fed to people and children alike to use as a weapon to passive aggressively disapprove of people in a ‘polite’ way. I mean actually physically hurting someone.

If I were to be a parent, I would be like CJ’s mom, ring any bells? If not you can read her post about her 6 year old son CJ (yes six years old) who likes ‘girl things’, one of her most recent posts was He knows he’s Gender Nonconforming and it put a smile on my face.

Why should a child be constrained to play with certain toys?
Like certain colors?
Wear certain clothing?

You put Barbie in Fatigues and she’s GI Jane
That’s okay.

You put swim trunks on GI Joe and he’s a ken doll
‘Oh sorry little Johnny, but you can’t play with that!’

What hurts me the most, more than anything, this is just a child! If you look at him and are thinking that is wrong. He must like other little boys and that isn’t okay! Then I’m sorry, but you are contributing the hypersexualization of children. He doesn’t care about that stuff, he’s too busy playing with glitter and hello kitty.

The only WRONG thing about it is that it is a big deal! 

The LBGT community will always have a special place in my heart (right next to single mothers who try for their children thanks to my childhood). Why tell people they need to conform to a certain standard?


They say, or we will fear you.
America, home of the free… unless you are different.

I have shed tears for this country, blood for this country and have buried friends for this country. If you want to wear a dress, date, or even marry someone no matter what sex they are then

HELL YES! DO IT! (sorry DOMA I won’t miss you)

As long as it is consensual and they are of age then there is no laws broken, no big taboo, nothing. At the end of the day it is love and be loved.

So with that I would like to introduce myself, I’m Gabriel, I am straight, right now my toenails are pink and I am happy to say that all of it is none of your damn business.

You want to know why we should stop caring so much? Let’s start with things like this…

7 responses to “Abuse and gender roles

  1. Wow. That video is disturbing. It still baffles me that people think being gay is a choice and that they can just force gay people not to be gay. I’m still looking for the footnote in the Ten Commandments (Love thy neighbor) where it has a list of exceptions for gay people. I obviously missed it.

  2. I couldn’t watch the video…well not yet at least..maybe later. TD is the best…I love him and I am glad I found you through him. More than 1/2 of my friends are gay…and even I am stereotyped even though I am a straight, married, female because of it. Love this post.

  3. Pingback: Redefining Gender Conformity | CombatBabe·

  4. Pingback: Redefining Gender Conformity | CombatBabe·

  5. Dearest Gabriel,
    I’m a Proud Mom of a Gay Son. I knew from a very early age my son was gay. He too did not conform to the “appropriate boy toy’s”, and I was more than Happy to buy him whatever he wanted. Our Son was brought up in a Loving, Accepting home. We encouraged him to talk with us. We explained to him his peers at school can be cruel and make nasty comments, as they did. We were right there to support him every step of the way. I can say My Adult Son is “Comfortably” in his skin, and his gender. I take issue with Parents who don’t allow their Children to exhibit their gender identities, and Accept them as they are. It breaks my heart when I read blogs about Teenagers and young Adults who are gay and they can’t discuss this with their Parents. The people who are “Suppose” to Love Unconditionally. Okay I’ll step off my soap box now or else this will turn into a blog in itself.
    Your Friend,

  6. Powerful statement and powerful video….what is wrong with this country??? What is wrong with the world?? I love how they always drag Christ into this….wasn’t he that said “Thou shall not judge???” I am so sorry for all the people who have had to pay such an awful price for being exactly who they are. The finest people I know have been Gay or Lesbian. And just writing that statement down seems so stupid to me. Who cares what your sexual orientation is….Do I write “my heterosexual friends?” NO…. So let me rephrase that….I have known some very brave men and women that have shown me how to fight for being who I am. Thank you for sharing

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