Movie me

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You watch the screen
First person
Those kinds of movies are always hard to follow
but you watch anyway.

Except this isn’t a normal movie
No
This is life
Watch as you are moving through your life
Doing things, but it isn’t you…
Or is it?

How could it be?
You aren’t doing anything.
Yet you sit and watch yourself work though the day
Listening to the ticking of the clock
Marking time that makes no sense suddenly
Did you fold the clothes or did I?
I cannot seem to recall as clearly as I should.

That is how it seems to work
Suddenly my skin isn’t mine
Ripping it off would be easier than trying to fit myself
Into something that disgusting
But I can’t
I’m just stuck
Watching

Who is this other me?
How did he get here?
Why am I the one watching what he is doing?
Answers never seem to come
He won’t answer me.

I’m just trapped.
Who’s reflection is that?
Me? No, can it be?
I don’t want it to be

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Hideous
Disgusting
Ugly
Evil

Those are the words that come to mind
The only way to describe… it
Me?
My reflection?
Is it me?

 I scream
HELP
Nothing
Words don’t escape
The lips that aren’t mine

Thoughts in a body
That isn’t mine
In a brain
That isn’t mine
Eyes looking at the reflection
That ISN’T mine!

Trapped
By something that I can’t explain
Chained
To myself until he lets me be
Caged
By the demon that is me

Because this is me
Movie me

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