So many times in this world we take people for granted.
I wish I could sit here and write that I have never done that and would never do that, although I would be lying. If only to myself, I mean it’s not like any of you really know me outside of what I write and so I could paint a beautiful picture of the perfect person I thought I was.
But I won’t.
What I will say is that I’ve taken very good people, people that treated me with love and respect for granted. I thought that they would always be there for me no matter how I felt, what I did, or how I treated them. I have to admit it happened on more than one occasion even in my adult life.
Emotion gets the best of you, you end up taking it out on people that don’t deserve it, then assume that when you turn around they will be ready to fight for you, no matter the struggle. Sometimes they give you the benefit of the doubt, you had a rough patch, you’re going through some hard times, anyone would do it…
Even still, so easily in this life we turn to a person who hurt us and hurt them back out of spite or vengeance. Somewhere we thought that if we can hurt them, the way we were hurt, well maybe then they will see they were wrong.
The reality is all that does is give the other person the same reason to hurt you back; the cycle continues this way.
I think that is why most marriages fail, people tend to think that is the end. We’re married and now you are stuck with me, I can stop trying so hard. Marriage shouldn’t signal the end, it should be the beginning of something new.
Marriage should be the start of the marathon that the relationship prior, was warming you up for. You should be aiming for the gold and giving it your all at that point not standing at the podium waiting for a medal, after all, the race just started.
Too many people think that the finish line is marriage. So we are so in awe of the ones that actually work and wonder what the secret was for lasting.
The secret is that there is no secret, you just need to keep trying.
I think most people cheat because they just gave up. They take the other person for granted and expect them to stay around even if they aren’t going to put the work in themselves.
My wife/husband doesn’t give me what I need so I cheat. But I still love them.
How can you love a person, when you are okay with lying to them? How can you love someone when you don’t even bother to work with them, even though they are being faithful to you? Which, newsflash is them putting in more work than you are.
I can’t claim to have been married 50+ years and I am sharing my secret with everyone, I can’t even claim to be married 5 years [or at all really]. However, what I can say is that the person you love, your person, needs to know you love them and that takes work.
Communication is important no doubt, but to me, it all comes back to treating the other person as an equal and not taking people for granted no matter what kind of relationship, family, friends, co-workers, people will typically treat you the way you treat them so it’s only fair to try to be good to the people you love, the ones you call friends.
Will we make mistakes?
Yes, of course, we are after all only human.
We can’t all be emotional dumpsters and expect not feel like any of that unpleasant emotion is directed at us. I’m sure that some people can, I certainly cannot and I’m not sure if I know anyone who can.
At the end of the day, I think that even if someone is hurting and takes it out on you, whether it is a significant other, friend, whatever. As long as you can show them compassion it will end a lot sooner than if you try to hurt them back.
After all hurting people, hurt people. Something to keep in mind next time someone hurts you.
Besides, you never know how long someone will be around, so enjoy them.
No, really, from a vet who’s lost too many friends far too early in this life, enjoy them and be sure to let them know that you do.